Work-Life Balance: A Perspective Shift

Work-life balance is one of those topics that’s been written about endlessly. Most of the advice is practical—set boundaries, manage your time wisely, unplug after work. And while those tips are useful, they often overlook the deeper mindset that truly determines balance.

For me, that shift came from something my Aunt Beth told me when I was 15:

"Deb, if you can’t do something out of love, don’t do it."

At the time, I nodded, thinking it was a nice sentiment. But as the years passed, I began to see how powerful that simple statement really was. It became my guiding principle. If I couldn’t do something from a place of love—whether it was a task at work, a favor for a friend, or a family obligation—I either found a way to shift my mindset or allowed myself to say no.

This doesn’t mean that every task has to bring joy. You don’t have to love completing a report for your boss or running errands after a long day. But when you can connect an action to something meaningful—your paycheck, your relationships, your sense of purpose—resentment fades, and balance follows.

The Power of Alignment

Many people today call this “alignment”—making sure that what you’re doing aligns with your values, your energy, and your well-being.

Someone recently asked me for help filling out medical forms. Because of my years as a caregiver, I’m highly skilled at this, and I love helping people. But before saying yes, I paused. Even though I was competent and willing, I checked in with myself to make sure I could offer my help from a place of love, rather than obligation. Only when I felt aligned with the decision did I commit.

This small act of self-awareness made all the difference. Instead of feeling drained or burdened, I was able to help wholeheartedly, without resentment.

What Happens When We Ignore This Principle?

When we act purely out of obligation, without considering our internal alignment, stress builds.

How many times have you said yes to something and then immediately regretted it? Maybe you agreed to take on extra work when you were already overwhelmed. Maybe you volunteered for something because you felt guilty, not because you truly wanted to.

Over time, these small moments of misalignment lead to burnout. We feel stretched too thin, resentful of our commitments, and disconnected from what actually matters.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was feeling this exact tension. She had taken on multiple responsibilities at work and at home, believing she “should” be able to handle it all. But underneath, she was exhausted, snapping at loved ones, and losing the joy in things she once loved.

As we talked, she realized she was moving through her days on autopilot, saying yes to everything without checking in with herself. She had convinced herself that turning things down meant she wasn’t strong enough or capable enough. But the truth was, she was giving from an empty well, and it was draining her.

Once she began asking herself, Can I do this from a place of love? she found it easier to say no when she needed to. And when she did say yes, it came from a place of genuine willingness rather than guilt.

Making Work-Life Balance Personal

The key to balance isn’t about finding the perfect 50/50 split between work and life. It’s about making intentional choices that allow you to show up fully in all areas of your life.

If I can’t do something with love, I either shift my mindset or say no. And that’s where the magic happens—because sometimes, simply reframing a task can change everything.

For example, I may not love running errands, but I do love having a peaceful, well-stocked home. I remind myself of this when I’m in the store.  I might not be excited about sitting through a meeting, but I do value being part of a team and contributing meaningfully.

By focusing on the why behind an action, even tedious or difficult tasks become more bearable.

How to Apply This in Your Own Life

If you’re struggling with work-life balance, consider trying this approach:

Pause before saying yes. Before committing to anything, take a moment to check in with yourself. Do you feel aligned with the decision, or are you saying yes out of guilt or obligation?

Reframe the task. If a commitment is unavoidable, ask yourself: What positive outcome does this contribute to? Shifting your focus to the end result can make even the most mundane tasks feel more meaningful.

Give yourself permission to say no. If something feels deeply misaligned and drains your energy, practice declining it with kindness. Protecting your time and energy isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

Recognize the difference between discomfort and misalignment. Sometimes, we resist tasks because they’re uncomfortable, not because they’re wrong for us. If something feels challenging but still aligns with your values and goals, it might be worth pushing through.

Bringing This Into Your Own Life

This perspective has guided me for years, helping me maintain a sense of balance and fulfillment. But what about you? Have you ever said yes to something out of obligation, only to regret it later? Can you think of a time when shifting your mindset changed how you felt about a task or responsibility?

Take a moment to reflect on areas in your life where you might be able to apply this philosophy. Are there commitments or responsibilities that feel draining right now? What would happen if you either adjusted your mindset or allowed yourself to say no?

The more we practice honoring our internal alignment, the more energy we have for the things that truly matter. Work-life balance isn’t about a perfect split of time and effort—it’s about making intentional choices that serve both your responsibilities and your well-being.

If this feels like a challenge for you, you’re not alone. The way we think about commitments, balance, and personal energy takes time to shift.

If you need a space to talk it through, HOLD is here. Book a listening appointment today and take a step toward clarity and alignment in your life.