Acceptance
Oct 27, 2024
We've all been there—dealing with someone who just seems to rub us the wrong way. It could be a colleague, a family member, or even a stranger who crossed your path at the wrong moment. It’s human nature to feel frustration or even resentment toward people who challenge us. Yet, learning to accept those individuals, even when it feels difficult, can lead to greater emotional freedom and personal growth.
Acceptance is not about liking everyone or becoming best friends with people who irritate you. It’s about finding peace within yourself, understanding the role others play in your life, and recognizing the potential for growth in every interaction. One of the most practical approaches to achieving acceptance is focusing on the positive aspects of the person who challenges you, as suggested by Abraham Hicks, a well-known teacher.
Why Acceptance Is So Hard
Acceptance can feel especially difficult when someone’s actions or behaviors seem to clash with your values, desires, or comfort zones. Maybe it’s a co-worker who always interrupts you in meetings or a family member who criticizes your life choices. Whatever the case, the emotions that arise can make it seem impossible to find peace around the person.
When someone is getting under your skin, it's because they are eliciting strong feelings in you. This could be frustration, anger, or disappointment. These emotions often block our ability to see the positive in the person or the situation, leading to resistance rather than acceptance.
I can certainly think of several people in my life who have challenged my ability to practice acceptance, and I bet you can, too. It’s such a common experience, yet the tools to navigate it aren’t always obvious. One of the most effective tools is a simple shift in perspective—choosing to focus on positive aspects rather than the things that bother you.
The Power of Positive Aspects
In one of Abraham Hicks’ teachings, a woman shared her struggle with accepting a person she worked with. Abraham’s advice was straightforward but powerful: create a list of positive aspects about that person. This practice helps shift your focus away from their irritating qualities and toward anything—no matter how small—that you can appreciate about them.
The key here is to start general. If someone has been a major source of frustration, it can be hard to immediately find specific positive traits. So, begin with a broad statement like, “This person elicits strong feelings in me.” This is a factual observation that acknowledges the emotional impact without jumping to judgment or negativity.
From there, you can move to other statements that help you find relief. For example, “I think I can benefit from something that’s going on here.” Maybe the interaction is teaching you patience, or perhaps it's showing you how to manage difficult relationships. Try to find something that you could be learning. Each statement you make in the list of positive aspects should be something you feel resonates with you, something that feels true in the moment.
Eventually, you may reach statements that are more specific, such as, “I know I can benefit from each and every person I interact with.” This broader perspective allows for more openness and less resistance to the person’s presence in your life.
Accepting a Difficult Co-Worker
Let’s say you’re dealing with a co-worker who constantly interrupts you during meetings. Every time they speak over you, you feel disrespected, annoyed, and frustrated. It’s easy to focus on how rude and inconsiderate they seem, which only makes the situation more tense. Acceptance seems far out of reach.
To practice acceptance, start with a general statement: “This co-worker elicits strong feelings in me.” This statement is true and allows you to acknowledge the situation without immediately spiraling into negative judgments. From there, you can think of something positive: “This person is passionate about their work.” Even if that passion manifests as interrupting, it’s still a positive trait to recognize.
Next, try a statement that shifts your perspective further: “I know I can benefit from learning how to handle this situation with calm.” This reframes the challenge as an opportunity for personal growth, which can reduce feelings of frustration. Over time, as you practice focusing on positive aspects, you might even begin to notice moments where the co-worker listens or collaborates more effectively. Acceptance doesn’t mean you condone their behavior—it simply means you’ve found peace with their presence in your life.
Finding Acceptance in Family Relationships
Family relationships can be some of the most challenging to navigate, especially when you feel misunderstood or judged. Imagine you have a sibling who constantly criticizes your choices. Every holiday gathering, they seem to find something negative to say about your career, relationships, or lifestyle. It’s easy to feel defensive and hurt, and acceptance may feel out of reach.
To start, you could acknowledge: “This sibling elicits strong feelings in me.” This is an important first step, as it validates your emotional experience without diving into the negative details. Then, look for a broader, more neutral statement: “I can benefit from seeing how I react to their comments.” This helps you focus on your own emotional responses, rather than being consumed by the other person’s behavior. You can control your behavior, not the behavior of others.
You might then move to a statement like, “I know my sibling loves me in their own way.” Even if their criticism feels hurtful, this statement reminds you of the deeper family bond, which can open the door to acceptance. Over time, you may notice their criticisms affecting you less, as you’ve shifted your focus away from the negativity and toward the more positive aspects of the relationship.
Acceptance Is a Journey, Not a Destination
One of the most important things to remember about acceptance is that it’s a process. It doesn’t happen overnight, especially if someone has been a source of frustration or hurt for a long time. But with practice, acceptance becomes easier, and you can find greater peace in your interactions with difficult people.
It’s also important to note that acceptance doesn’t mean you have to like everyone or agree with their behavior. It simply means you’ve made peace with their role in your life, and you’re no longer letting your resistance to them cause unnecessary stress or emotional turmoil.
Each time you practice finding positive aspects about a person, you move closer to acceptance. And who knows—what starts as a frustrating relationship could eventually become one of growth and mutual understanding.
Practice Acceptance for Greater Peace
In life, we will always encounter people who challenge us. Learning to accept these individuals, rather than resist them, can lead to greater emotional freedom and inner peace. By focusing on positive aspects and shifting our perspective, we can learn to embrace the role that even difficult people play in our lives.
As Abraham Hicks wisely suggests, acceptance begins with a shift in focus. It’s not about pretending someone doesn’t frustrate you, but about acknowledging the impact they have and finding positive elements to focus on. This practice helps reduce resistance, open the door to acceptance, and lead to more harmonious relationships.
Listen to the full Abraham Hicks video here, and if you need help because you can’t find ANYTHING good, I can help. Book a confidential listening appointment today.
