Doing Hard Things

emotional intelligence Oct 13, 2024
montage of people doing hard things like math, mountain climbing, surgery, gym, steel welding, engineering

We all encounter hard things in life, whether it’s a difficult project at work, navigating relationships, or simply pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zones. Doing hard things often feels uncomfortable and even impossible at times, but it's in those moments that we truly grow and learn about ourselves.

Why Doing Hard Things Matters

Growth doesn’t happen in the realm of ease. When everything is smooth sailing, we tend to stay within the limits of what we know. However, when we face challenges and push through the discomfort, we open ourselves up to new opportunities, ideas, and experiences. Doing hard things not only builds resilience but also boosts our confidence, allowing us to face future challenges with greater strength and determination.

One of the hardest things about tackling tough tasks is the fear of failure. It’s natural to worry about whether we’re capable or if we’ll be able to succeed. But here’s the key: success isn’t just about reaching the end goal—it’s about persevering through the process, even when things get difficult.

Embrace the Process of Doing Hard Things

Many people give up when the going gets tough because they don’t see immediate results. But growth doesn’t always look like progress. It’s often messy, unpredictable, and full of setbacks. The real value of doing hard things lies in learning how to keep moving forward, even when it feels like you're getting nowhere.

The other day, Linda and I were working hard on a particularly challenging project. It was something completely new to both of us, and we had to learn terminology and develop concepts that were beyond our comfort zones. We hit roadblocks, felt stuck, and questioned whether we were up for the task. Yet, we persevered. We pushed through the mental and emotional barriers, and despite the difficulties, we accomplished what we set out to do. The satisfaction of overcoming that challenge was worth every bit of the struggle.

This illustrates that the discomfort of doing hard things doesn’t last forever. With persistence, we eventually reach the other side, and that’s when we look back and realize how much we’ve grown.

How Doing Hard Things Builds Resilience

When you make a habit of tackling hard things, you build resilience. Resilience isn’t something that’s built overnight; it’s the result of repeatedly facing difficulties and learning how to bounce back. Each time you confront a challenge, whether you succeed or fail, you develop a deeper understanding of yourself and your abilities. I recently heard that FAIL stands for First Attempt In Learning. That rings true.

People who avoid hard things often struggle with setbacks because they’ve never had to work through tough situations. On the other hand, those who consistently push through hard tasks are more equipped to handle adversity in all areas of life. They learn to trust in their ability to overcome obstacles and stay focused on solutions rather than problems.

Practical Tips for Doing Hard Things

When it comes to doing hard things, breaking the task down into smaller, more manageable steps is one of the most effective strategies. A large, overwhelming challenge can seem impossible to tackle all at once, but dividing it into bite-sized pieces makes it easier to handle. For instance, if you’re working on a big project, focus on completing one section at a time rather than worrying about the entire task. This approach gives you a sense of progress, which can help motivate you to keep going.

Another helpful approach is recognizing that you don’t have to do hard things alone. Asking for help from those who have experience or insight can lighten the load and provide fresh perspectives. Whether it’s a colleague, mentor, or family member, don’t be afraid to lean on others for guidance and support. Having someone to encourage and walk alongside you can make hard things feel more manageable and less isolating. You can also ask for help in the first tip - breaking the task down into more manageable chunks. Sometimes it can be hard to see.

It’s also essential to remain patient during difficult tasks. Doing hard things is rarely quick or easy, and you might not see immediate results. Patience is key to enduring the slow progress and occasional setbacks that come with tackling a tough challenge. Stay focused on your long-term goal, and trust that every step, no matter how small, is moving you forward.

Celebrating small wins is another vital aspect of successfully doing hard things. Don’t wait until the very end to acknowledge your progress. Each milestone you reach, no matter how minor, deserves recognition. Celebrating these small victories reinforces the idea that you’re moving in the right direction, which can help you stay motivated throughout the process.

Overcoming Fear When Facing Hard Things

One of the biggest barriers to doing hard things is fear—fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, or fear of what others will think. It’s important to acknowledge that fear is a natural part of the process. Instead of letting it paralyze you, imagine what if it goes right.

When you step into the unknown and face something difficult, you’re bound to feel scared. But it’s important to remember that fear and excitement often feel the same. What if you reframed your fear as excitement about the opportunity to grow and learn?

For example, when Linda and I were faced with learning new concepts and terminology, there were moments of self-doubt. We worried about making mistakes or not fully understanding the material. But instead of letting that fear hold us back, we leaned into the challenge. We reminded ourselves that even if we stumbled along the way, the experience itself was valuable. And in the end, not only did we complete the project, but we also gained a deeper understanding of what we were capable of.

Learning from Hard Things

Every hard thing we face is a learning experience. Whether the outcome is positive or not, you will always gain something valuable from the process. Maybe it’s a new skill, new knowledge, or simply the confidence of knowing you can get through tough times.

When you reflect on the hard things you’ve accomplished, you’ll likely realize that the most meaningful experiences in your life came from the challenges you overcame. Those moments, however difficult they were at the time, shaped you into the person you are today.

Keep Doing the Hard Things

The ability to do hard things is one of the most important skills you can develop. It’s not always fun (though sometimes it is), it’s often uncomfortable, and there are moments when you’ll want to quit. But each hard thing you conquer adds to your strength, resilience, and confidence.

Remember, it’s not about avoiding challenges—it’s about embracing them, learning from them, and growing through the process. So the next time you find yourself facing something hard, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you’re capable, and just keep going.

In the end, doing hard things isn’t just about accomplishing tasks. It’s about becoming the best version of yourself.