Overwhelm is Real: Here’s What You Can Do About It

Jennifer has five kids, and she struggles—every single day—to get them out the door on time. “Get your shoes on! It’s time to go! Hurry, we’re late!” she yells, her voice rising with frustration.

Inevitably, she arrives 30 minutes late to wherever she’s going because someone can’t find a shoe, someone else suddenly needs to use the bathroom, or one of them refuses to leave without a beloved stuffed bear that’s nowhere to be found.

Every mother—and many fathers—know this pain all too well. The “get your shoes on” conversation is a universal parenting battle. And honestly? Jennifer is completely outnumbered.

But what if she could shift out of this overwhelming, exhausting cycle?

Breaking Free from Overwhelm

Overwhelm isn’t just about being busy. It’s about feeling trapped in a loop of frustration and chaos, with no clear way out. Whether you’re a parent wrangling kids, an employee drowning in tasks, or a caregiver balancing too many responsibilities, the feeling of having too much on your plate is real—and it takes a toll on your emotional and physical well-being.

The good news? Overwhelm isn’t a life sentence. You can break the cycle.

Jennifer’s story highlights some key shifts that can help move from reacting to leading.

Reduce the Decision Load

One of the biggest contributors to overwhelm is decision fatigue. When we constantly have to make last-minute choices, we burn out fast. Jennifer’s mornings were chaotic because too many decisions—what to wear, what to bring, when to leave—were happening at the worst possible moment.

Instead, she could:

Make decisions ahead of time. Setting clear expectations at breakfast about departure time and responsibilities (shoes by the door, choice of attire) reduces last-minute power struggles.

Minimize unnecessary decisions. If her kids always argue about socks, she can keep two approved options available and remove everything else. If someone consistently forgets their bear, a designated to-go bin near the door could help.

What decisions in your daily life feel repetitive and draining? Is there a way to simplify, automate, or remove them altogether?

Set Clear Expectations—And Stick to Them

Jennifer’s new plan involved clear communication at breakfast. Instead of springing the transition on her kids at the last minute, she gave them structured warnings.

"We’re leaving at 9. I’ll remind you 10 minutes before, and then 5 minutes before."

"When my alarm goes off, it’s time to stop what you’re doing and put your shoes on."

She also preempted the negotiation spiral.

"If you want to wear flip-flops in the cold, that’s your choice. I won’t argue, and you agree not to complain."

Setting expectations in advance lowers stress because it removes the element of surprise, which is often what causes frustration and emotional meltdowns—both for kids and adults.

Where in your life do expectations need to be clearer? Are there recurring points of tension that could be prevented with proactive conversations?

Reinforce What’s Working

Jennifer can encourage good behavior by noticing and reinforcing what works. Maybe she offers extra playtime at the park when they leave on time, an extra book at bedtime as a reward for smooth transitions, or a simple verbal celebration: "Wow! We made it out the door with no yelling! I love that."

Positive reinforcement isn’t just for kids. We need it, too. Recognizing and rewarding progress helps retrain your brain to focus on what’s working rather than just what’s frustrating.

The “It’s Not My Kids—It’s My Spouse” Struggle

Maybe your biggest stress isn’t getting little kids out the door, but waiting for your partner who always makes you late. Maybe they start getting ready when you’re already supposed to be in the car. Maybe they get distracted doing just one more thing before leaving.

Sound familiar?

This is just another form of overwhelm—except instead of wrangling children, you’re managing frustration toward an adult.

The same strategies apply.

Clear expectations: "I’d love to leave on time for this event. Can we agree to be in the car by 5:45?"

Reducing decision load: "I’ll grab the keys and put the bags in the car, so you only need to focus on getting ready."

Reinforcing what works: "I really appreciated that we left on time last weekend. It made the night so much more enjoyable!"

Does this guarantee they’ll never be late again? Nope. But clear communication reduces the cycle of frustration and resentment, making conversations about time management more productive.

Overwhelm in Other Areas of Life

Jennifer’s story is about getting out the door, but overwhelm creeps into every aspect of life.

Work deadlines piling up.

Managing caregiving for aging parents.

Balancing friendships, responsibilities, and personal needs.

Whenever you feel overwhelmed, ask:

What’s the root cause? Too many decisions? Unclear expectations? Lack of support?

What’s one small thing I can do today to make it easier next time?

How can I celebrate progress rather than focusing on frustration?

Breaking the cycle of overwhelm isn’t about eliminating stress entirely. It’s about gaining control over the things you can manage so the things outside your control don’t feel quite so heavy.

The Path to Less Overwhelm Starts with Listening

When you’re overwhelmed, what you need most is space—space to think, to process, to breathe. But when life is chaotic, finding that space alone can feel impossible.

That’s where listening support comes in. At HOLD, we offer confidential listening sessions to help you process your overwhelm, gain clarity, and figure out what steps to take next. You don’t have to do it alone.

If you're feeling overwhelmed and need someone to truly listen, book a confidential listening appointment today. Take the first step toward clarity, relief, and balance.