Nothing is more frustrating than hearing “You have to take care of yourself” when you're already stretched thin. I remember being in the trenches of caregiving, parenting, and homeschooling. I knew I needed self-care, but I also struggled to figure out how to make it happen. My to-do list never seemed to end, and even when I had a moment, I felt guilty about resting.
Most people understand that self-care is necessary for both physical and emotional well-being, but knowing that and actually making space for it in daily life are two very different things. Even if you want to make self-care a priority, it’s easy to push it aside when you feel responsible for everything and everyone else.
The Cost of Neglecting Self-Care
For years, I believed I could push through exhaustion and overwhelm. I had things to do, people to take care of, and responsibilities that couldn’t wait. But eventually, it caught up with me. I wasn’t sleeping well. I was running on fumes. And the truth was, I wasn’t showing up for the people I loved in the way I wanted to because I had nothing left to give.
It was unpleasant to learn that if I didn’t take care of myself first, I was no good to anyone else. Before I figured out how to do it right, I did it wrong—and it cost me. Maybe you’ve been there too. Maybe you are there now.
Neglecting self-care doesn’t just lead to exhaustion. It can impact your mood, your relationships, your ability to focus, and even your physical health. When you’re constantly running on empty, little things feel overwhelming. You snap at people you love. You lose patience more quickly. Stress builds, and before you know it, you’re stuck in a cycle of burnout.
Self-care is not a luxury. It is not optional. It is necessary.
Prioritizing Self-Care Matters
Deciding to prioritize self-care is not selfish—it’s an act of self-respect. You matter. Your needs matter. And if you don’t decide that for yourself, no one else will do it for you.
One of the first steps to making self-care a habit is to set an intention. This means consciously deciding that your well-being is just as important as everything else on your plate. It means making a commitment to yourself that you will take time for what you need.
Schedule time for self-care. Block off time in your calendar the same way you would for a meeting or an appointment. It doesn’t have to be a long stretch of time. Even five minutes to drink your coffee in peace or ten minutes to sit outside and breathe fresh air can make a difference.
Set boundaries. Say no to activities and commitments that drain you. Protect your energy. Sometimes, self-care looks like declining invitations, letting go of obligations that don’t serve you, or stepping away from relationships that leave you feeling depleted.
Recognize what you need. Self-care is not one-size-fits-all. What works for someone else might not be what works for you. If meditation stresses you out, don’t do it. If reading helps you reset, carve out time for it. If you recharge by taking a walk, find a way to fit it into your day. There is no right or wrong way to practice self-care—it only matters that you do it.
Personalizing Your Self-Care Journey
One of the reasons people struggle with self-care is because they don’t know where to start. If you’ve been in survival mode for a long time, pausing to take care of yourself might feel unnatural. It might even feel uncomfortable at first.
Start small. You don’t have to overhaul your entire routine overnight. Small, consistent actions add up over time.
Make it a habit. The more you integrate self-care into your daily routine, the easier it becomes. If you schedule ten minutes of quiet time every morning, eventually, it will feel like a natural part of your day rather than something you have to force yourself to do.
Give yourself permission. If you’re used to putting others first, you might feel guilty about taking time for yourself. Remind yourself that you deserve care too. You are not a machine. You are a human being with needs.
Find what feels good. Self-care isn’t about doing what you think you “should” do—it’s about doing what actually nourishes you.
Some ideas for self-care:
- Moving your body in a way that feels good to you (walking, stretching, dancing)
- Taking deep breaths or practicing mindfulness
- Reading a book or listening to music
- Drinking a cup of tea or coffee without multitasking
- Journaling your thoughts and feelings
- Taking a break from social media
- Spending time in nature
- Calling a friend who makes you feel good
- Setting an earlier bedtime
- Asking for help when you need it
Not all self-care is relaxing. Sometimes, self-care looks like doing the hard things—going to therapy, having difficult conversations, setting boundaries, and making choices that support your long-term well-being.
Finding Joy in Self-Care
Somewhere along the way, we started treating self-care like another task to check off a list. But self-care isn’t something you have to do. It’s something you get to do. It’s something that allows you to feel more like yourself.
Find joy in the process. Self-care is not about perfection—it’s about giving yourself what you need, when you need it.
Self-care is also about connection. It’s about surrounding yourself with people who uplift you, support you, and remind you that you’re not alone. Sometimes, the most powerful act of self-care is reaching out for help.
If you need space to process your emotions, be heard, or reflect on what self-care looks like for you, HOLD is here.
HOLD offers confidential listening appointments where you can talk about what’s on your mind without judgment or advice unless you ask for it.
- A safe space to sort through your thoughts
- Someone who listens without trying to fix you
- Emotional support from a trained professional listener
You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Prioritizing self-care starts with one small step.
Book a confidential listening appointment today and take a step toward taking better care of yourself.
