Retirement

“I want to hit the trifecta.  Time, money and the health to enjoy it,” a friend said to me.  While the trifecta may be out of reach, there’s much good to be found in retirement.  This blog post will reflect on the complexities of and joy to be found in this stage of life.

Filling Time During Retirement

Retirement is a major life transition.  It’s a transition to a lot more time on your hands.  There is a loss of structure. Suddenly, there now needs to be thought into how the day will go.  If there wasn’t consideration before the final party, the first month can be like walking in a fog.  The first days feel like vacation where there’s joy sleeping in and enjoying a leisurely coffee without checking emails.  And the second week there often begins a sense of drifting and looking for new purpose.  

Whether you’re navigating retirement as a single person, or part of a pair, be sure to explore the activities available for seniors in your area.  It can be a way to meet new friends, as well as have activity.  Of course, some enjoy planning travel, others decide to develop new hobbies, while others offer service to their communities.  Some do all of these!  Finding something to fill the void is beneficial to a retirees’ mental well being.

Married retirees often exclaim “They're driving me crazy!  They’re always here, always under my feet!  I don’t know what to do!” This outburst of frustration was fairly common to hear from spouses who were moving through the first year of retirement.  “There’s all this time together!”   

For some, Covid helped ease it some, as so many worked from home full time for the first time ever.  Yet, for others, it’s an abrupt transition.

One spouse decided to rearrange the kitchen without consulting the partner.  Imagine coming home and not being able to find anything!  This action was less about the kitchen functioning, and more about having purpose, but if this spouse didn’t understand that, resentment could potentially build.

Here, communication is key.  Discussing what the needs are of each person, and figuring out the optimal solution for both requires intention and respect.  The lines of communication are important as each of you sort through what your needs are.  Being open about what you want to do, where you want to live, how you want to live, these are all very large questions that while once decided, may again be revisited.  Be sure to talk through it and figure it out together.  

Ultimately, the goal is to find joy in the new rhythm of life.  We find our identity throughout our life.  This is yet another iteration of who we are becoming.  For those who have identified themselves AS their profession, this can take some extra reflection and support.  If joy isn’t found and depression settles in, don’t wait to get help.

Money and Retirement

Certainly financial security matters in this new phase of life.  As we write, we are aware that there are some living from one social security check to the next, and some opportunities are out of the question.  Some even find other jobs to help fill this gap. 

Remember to take advantage of senior discounts, and get comfortable asking if they are available to you.  Many places only extend it if it’s asked for.  These discounts can add up when taken all together, and may be worth the hassle of going on the day the senior discount is offered.  Where I live, the movie theater offers a senior discount, but only on Tuesdays during set hours.  Check your grocery store too for any possible discounts.  Remember your local library also has free resources for you.

While money is often tied to the trifecta idea of creating a perfect retirement, the reality is that joy can be found regardless of income.  When we nurture relationships we often find joy.  There is no financial requirement to give love to those around us.  And while limited options might create occasional frustration, deciding to share your knowledge, your experience, your compassion, these can all happen without abundant resources.  They are resources of a different kind, and should not be discounted.

Health and Retirement

Hopefully you are beginning your retirement with good health.  I hope that’s the case for you!

It’s normal for health to deteriorate over time.  However, there are things you can do to give yourself the best chance to extend the active, healthy years.  Today there are many examples on social media of those advanced in years who are still living full active lives–and even more who aren’t in the news or on social media!  

As you probably already have realized, things to help extend that are eating well, exercising, and regular check ups–following your doctor's advice which probably sound just like that, and avoiding too much alcohol, smoking and recreational drugs.  Also, remember to practice safe sex if you’re active outside a monogamous relationship.  STDs are on the rise for senior populations. 

Whatever living situation you find yourself in, whether a single family home, apartment or assisted living, keeping an active social lifestyle will help keep you healthy.

Make sure to find ways to engage.  

Studies have found that for those living with dementia, social involvement slows the disease.  We are by nature social creatures.  Whether we are aware of it or not, we have a basic human need to connect, even if we’re introverted.

There are ways to keep your mind active and sharp.  Some ideas beyond social connection are:    puzzles, reading, learning new skills, learning a language, and playing strategic games. Also, consider the benefits of mindfulness practices like meditation and yoga to reduce stress and improve mental clarity if you don’t already have a practice.

There’s no denying it.  Retirement is a big change.  Some of those changes are welcome, and others less so.  Moving through it with ease requires communication, and focus, just as other stages of life did.  Whether you find yourself living the joy of the trifecta, or awake trying to figure things out today I hope you know that your life is worth living and has value.