If they haven’t yet, schools will be starting up soon. And parents everywhere want their children to be able to learn their best. This article will focus on one aspect that you can take to help your student in all subjects, regardless of age.

Lower Stress, Better Learning

As a parent, one of your primary goals is to help your children learn effectively. However, not all kids are able to learn effectively, especially when they are stressed or anxious. Stress can greatly impact a student’s ability to learn, as it hinders their access to higher functioning parts of their brain.   In fact, in a study conducted by the NIH, they found, “Evidence strongly assesses that stress has a key influence on the learning process. First of all, stress affects memory recall. It is well known to most students that the stress undergone when facing an evaluation test can make it difficult to recall information that might be available in less stressful circumstances [37].”

My dad was trying to be a good dad by helping me with memorization (state capitals anyone?). But there was so much pressure. The pressure made me feel stressed and it hindered my memorization. 

Linda mentioned being a good math student, but hating flash cards - because the urgent time pressure always made her freeze. She knew the facts - but couldn’t retrieve them with that stress. 

Our combined experiences both clearly demonstrate the importance of reducing stress for an optimal learning environment. 

In order to facilitate better learning, it is important to find ways to lower their stress levels. One tool that has been found to be effective in this is active listening.

Active listening involves paying close attention to what the child is saying, paraphrasing their words back to them, and asking follow-up questions. This technique can help reduce stress and anxiety levels. When children feel heard and understood, they’re more likely to relax and engage in the learning process.

Utilizing listening to lower stress for learning

• Builds trust: Active listening helps build trust. By demonstrating that you’re listening, hearing and valuing their words, children feel understood and accepted. This helps to establish a relationship where they feel safe and comfortable in opening up.
• Helps identify stressors: Active listening can help identify the source of stress or anxiety. These could be anything from academic challenges, personal issues or even external factors like bullying. When the adults in their lives listen actively, they are able to recognize these stressors and work on addressing them.
• Encourages problem-solving: Active listening can encourage kids to solve their own problems. Often, they can identify their own solutions. This can include breaking down large problems into smaller, more manageable ones, and creating action plans to tackle them.
• Boosts confidence: Active listening can also boost confidence. Offer positive feedback on progress, which can motivate them to continue learning. This gives a sense of accomplishment, which can help reduce stress levels.  Celebrate their progress.  “Last week this was hard, and now look how far you’ve come!”
• Improves communication: Active listening can also improve the overall communication between the child and others in their life. When they feel heard and understood, they’re more likely to communicate more easily, and this in turn provides an environment for better learning.

An Example of Lowering Stress to Allow Learning

One first grade student was given an assignment to take a story and write a different ending.  But the student was overwhelmed with what they perceived as the enormity of the task.  Her parents took the time to hear her distress first.  They simply listened.

Next, her parents asked her to tell them what she would do.  She verbally told them the story with a different ending.  They said, “Ok!  Now write that down.”  The student said, “That’s it?”  Even young children can get overwhelmed with the task before them, and thus not be able to see the simplicity that was there all along because of stress.  

When she knew she was heard, she could find her way through it in a way that she was not able to do on her own.  Stress impacts all humans, regardless of age and learning ability.  While it seemed an easy task to her parents, it was not to her until she felt the relief of being heard.  This allowed her to reach her potential with the task.

Getting Past the Melt Downs of Stress for Better Learning 

In Deb’s experience as a parent, she noticed that if an assignment was attempted and melt down status was reached first, it took a lot more time for them to return to emotional regulation before they could make progress.  This makes sense in terms of how our brain chemistry works.  When we are stressed, our brains do not have access to the higher functioning part of the brain that does problem solving.  Instead, it spins around in self protection in the area of the brain that deals with immediate crises.  Believe me, there are no essays being written or math problems being solved when this has occurred.

Instead, taking a break–getting a snack–and some physical activity can restore the brain back to optimal functioning.  This works only when they don’t immediately return and get stuck in the same loop. 

The way out is to listen without judgment and with compassion.  Not offering ideas to help, but rather holding space with the feelings of the young person so that they can move beyond.  If they yell, “It’s a STUPID ASSIGNMENT!”  Nod in agreement, and say something along the lines of, “This assignment feels ridiculous to you!  Like a waste of time!”  They will likely shout back “YEAH!”  It may take a little bit of this back and forth before they believe you understand them.  

Once they truly feel heard, they may be able to breathe through the stress and get to “I know I need to finish the assignment, but I don’t want to.”  This allows you to come along aside them and help them know how YOU deal with times that you have to do things you don’t want to, and that it’s a thing even for adults.  Ultimately, you know your student, and your situation.  The goal is to help them know you get it without minimizing or down playing their feelings.

It is our responsibility to create an environment that promotes effective learning and reduces stress. By embracing active listening as a fundamental tool, we can establish trust, empathy, and understanding with our kids. By validating their emotions, encouraging active engagement, and adapting to their individual needs, we can help alleviate stress and foster an optimal learning environment.

Remember, when we feel heard and supported, our higher brain functions can thrive, resulting in enhanced learning experiences and long-lasting educational success.